Songless
by black.is.the.new.blood
Summary: A collection of Songfic oneshots.  All RitsukaSoubi!  Please Read, Please Review, And Please Enjoy!
1. Swallowed in the Sea

Ok, this is going to be the first of a series of song inspired oneshots. All the songs I use I HIGHLY reccomend you taking a listen to. Especially this one! Just so you know, this story is my own take on what will happen after Ritsuka encounters his brother at the school (volume 8 ch.8-9. ) Please Read and Review!!

Disclaimer: Unfortunetly, I do not own Loveless, nor do I own Coldplay...poo. (

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Soubi, how did it all come to this?" Soubi's beloved sacrifice, Ritsuka asked. They had just walked into the lousy, cheap hotel room Soubi had rented. Ritsuka reluctantly crashed his tired, sore body onto the mangled mess of a mattress. It obviously had quite a few broken springs, which poked up through the thin bit of bedding. Ritsuka made a soft grunt as he was greeted by a spring that poked into his side. He sighed and ignored it all. Just as he ignored the acidic tears that threatened to be released. He choked them down, and was consumed by the burning sensation it left in his throat.

Soubi felt miserable. He felt utterly useless to his sacrifice, whom, he had all but abandoned back at the school of Seven Voices. Yes, he had defeated Nesei, that bastard. But, when faced with Seimei, he backed away into a corner like a scared puppy. After the fact, he felt like a complete ass hole. But, Seimei had control over him like that, or, at least he did. It was officially Ritsuka that had saved the day back there. Ritsuka was the one that came to his side just before Seimei attempted to end his life then and there. It was Ritsuka who threw his tiny form in-between Soubi, and the blade which Seimei held. It was Ritsuka who spoke those precious words that bound himself to Ritsuka, and ultimately saved his life. It had been Ritsuka whose soft agile lips pressed to his own, and created a bond that he had never imagined would form. It was Ritsuka, his angel, his muse, his lover, his friend, and his sacrifice, his Ritsuka that had saved his life. His Ritsuka, who he wanted to please more than anyone in the world.

But, it was also his Ritsuka that had to endure the sight of his own brother being killed, by none other than Soubi. The image of Ritsuka's crystal tears falling as he whispered in a hoarse voice the command to exterminate the imposter that claimed to be "his" brother. That image would always haunt Soubi. But, he knew the whole night would haunt Ritsuka that much more. He knew the boy had already been through more pain than he should have. He also knew, that this would be just another scar the poor boy would have to forever bear, along with the many others that people had inflicted on his dear Ritsuka. It made Soubi nearly insane with anger at the thought of all those who had pained the poor boy, who to him, deserved none of it. Then again, it sickened him to know that he had, if not still was, inflicting pain on the boy. He wanted to help the boy, to ease his pain, if not take it all away. But he wasn't sure how to without angering him. When, finally, an idea hit him.

"Ritsuka, I am eternally sorry for everything. But, know, I am always here. I will always belong to you. You always have a place, here, with me. You belong with me, not swallowed in the sea." Soubi said in a soft, comforting airy way. Ritsuka looked up with a sad pleading face at this statement from his fighter. Soubi could see, the boy had been near tears before, and now they were fluently streaming down his pale face.

The graceful fighter waltzed over to where his sweet sacrifice sat in pieces on the grubby bed. He sat next to the crying lover, and pulled him into his arms, not caring if the boy started to protest. Which, to his surprise, he didn't. Maybe, their bond had really grown THAT much. Soubi hoped so. He squeezed the boy lovingly to his chest, and the boy placed his own dainty arms around the broad fighter, holding on for dear life. His small body shook violently for several minutes while he cried. After a while, he subsided to meer shaky intakes of breath, and finally landed to silent tears. All the while, his fighter had been softly singing some English song.

_"__You cut me down a tree_

_And brought it back to me  
And that's what made me see  
Where I was going wrong  
You put me on a shelf  
And kept me for yourself  
I can only blame myself  
You can only blame me_

And I could write a song  
A hundred miles long  
Well, that's where I belong  
And you belong with me

And I could write it down

_Or spread it all around  
Get lost and then get found  
Or swallowed in the sea_

You put me on a line  
And hung me out to dry  
And darling that's when I  
Decided to go to see you

You cut me down to size  
And opened up my eyes  
Made me realize  
What I could not see

And I could write a book  
The one they'll say that shook  
The world, and then it took  
It took it back from me

And I could write it down  
Or spread it all around  
Get lost and then get found  
And you'll come back to meNot swallowed in the sea

And I could write a song  
A hundred miles long  
Well, that's where I belong  
And you belong with me

The streets you're walking on  
A thousand houses long  
Well, that's where I belong  
And you belong with me

Oh what good is it to live  
With nothing left to give  
Forget but not forgive  
Not loving all you see

Oh the streets you're walking on  
A thousand houses long  
Well that's where I belong  
And you belong with me  
Not swallowed in the sea  
You belong with me  
Not swallowed in the sea  
Yeah, you belong with me  
Not swallowed in the sea"

"Soubi?" A timid sounding Ritsuka inquired.

"Yes, what is it, Ritsuka?" Soubi asked, still quietly humming the beautiful song, it was really and truly his favorite. Like most things did, it reminded him of Ritsuka.

"Who is that song by?" The boy asked quietly. Silent tears were still flowing, but not quite as heavy of a stream as before. They subsided as a slow trickle.

"It's a American group called Coldplay. Would you like to listen to the song. I have the CD in my car. If, you wouldn't mind going out there with me to listen to it." Soubi asked as the boy started to pull away a bit. Ritsuka simply nodded for his answer.

Soubi carried his small and tender sacrifice out of the grungy room and out into the bitter cold. Ritsuka's little legs wrapped tightly around his waist, and his arms wound around his neck. Soubi had one large hand on the middle of the boys back, and another on his lower back on his waist line to support the precious cargo in his arms. When they reached the car parked outside of the hotel, the boy didn't seem like he was going to let go. So, Soubi merely climbed into the drivers side of the car, with the boy still clinging lovingly to him. He cranked the car up and turned the heat on, seeing as how it was a bitterly cold night, and he didn't want his love to get cold. The precious boy in his arms stirred, and turned himself around so that he was sitting in Soubi's lap with his small and narrow back against Soubi's firm chest. Soubi reached over and hit the "CD" button on the console. Instantly the little screen lit up, and Soubi skimmed the tracks until he found the song he was looking for.

At first, it was just Soubi who was singing along with the song. But after the fifth time of it playing on repeat, he could hear his little Ritsuka pipe up during parts that he had memorized. Soon, they were both singing along to the soft mellow song. The words bore into each of their hearts, and to Ritsuka, it made him feel that much more attached to man he was quickly beginning to feel so much love for. Soubi had his arms around his beloved as they sat in the car and sang along with what he knew would become "their song". Ritsuka was holding onto the warm arms that encircled him, and no more than forty minutes later, he had fallen fast asleep. Soubi didn't want to disturb the soft sleeping figure, so he decided on sleeping in the car along with his beloved.

In no time, the song became background music to each of the lovers peaceful dreams. It was a blissful night, for a thorned day. 


	2. Girlfriend

Okay, this is a more humorous addition to the Songless series. This is, duh, "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne. So laugh your ass off and enjoy! (by the way, this has nothing to do with the previously posted story. It has no absolute tying to the manga or the anime)

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Loveless, nor do I own Avril Lavigne...poo. (

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Some days, Ritsuka wondered how in the hell Soubi was gay. Other days, he wondered how the man was able to function being so damn gay! One moment he would be the calm and collected gentlemen that could make any girl (or guy for that matter) swoon. Then, other times, for Ritsuka only, he would let out his inner gay pride. This, was one of those instances.

The ever so cute earless Ritsuka was in the car. Driving. Soubi had insisted that he didn't, but Ritsuka simply scowled and did his pouty face, telling Soubi he had to learn how to drive SOMETIME! After pouting hadn't worked, Ritsuka had turned to more extreme, and efficient terms of convincing his fighter. He slit his eyes seductively, and placed his lips mere centimeters from Soubi's pierced ear to whisper in a deeply sexed up voice "Please, afterwards I'll do What. Ever. You. Want." After seeing Soubi visibly shudder, he knew he had inevitably won.

So, here he was, driving. He felt so in charge for a change. Normally it was Soubi who led at everything. Soubi was the one to normally initiated kisses. Soubi was the one to get him into bed (and yes, I mean have sex). Soubi was the one that fought, and so Soubi had been the one that drove. It seemed like Soubi was always the one leading the way in Ritsuka's life. But, nonetheless, at that moment, Ritsuka was the one in charge. Ritsuka was the one leading the way carefully down the road, closer to the apartment he and Soubi called home together.

The radio had been tuned to some popular channel that played "All of today's best hits", or so they said. Ritsuka merely liked the station because it played all of his favorite English bands. He had grown especially fond of a band called 'Fall Out Boy'. He loved the differential styles they played, and after looking up the lyrics in his own native tongue, discovered that that only made him like the band more. He loved the deep tongue in cheek lyrics. Though, after seeing a picture of the band, he became mad at himself for thinking that one of the guys named Peter was attractive. He mentally chastised himself for thinking that way. He had to remind himself that Soubi was the only- **THE ONLY**, person he would be attracted to. That was, until Soubi came up from behind him and peered at the picture of the punk band on the computer screen, and had the nerve to say "Hmm. That one in the front is cute." Ritsuka had spun around and nearly slapped Soubi.

"Soubi!!! How the hell can you say that right in front of me?!" He had been furious, though he was being quite hypocritical.

"First off, I'm behind you," He stated as he took Ritsuka's furious face in his hands, "second, there's nothing wrong with noticing someone else's beauty. As long as you know to whom you truly belong to." After that statement, he kissed the furious kitten (okay, so technically he wasn't a 'kitten' anymore seeing as how he had already lost his ears, but Soubi still saw him as the adorable young boy that he had initially fallen in love with).

"Anyway, how old is he. He looks so young to be in a band, and to have ALL those tattoo's" Soubi said turning his attention back to the screen, as Ritsuka did the same. Ritsuka used the little mouse in his right hand to scroll the computer screen down. His mouth dropped though, as he read aloud the date of birth of the cute boy (?) off the bio page.

"Peter Kingston Lewis Wentz the third, born July 24, 1979...28...WHA!!!!!..." Ritsuka's mouth hung open, Soubi looking quite shocked as well. "S-soubi, this guy is older than you!" It was true, Ritsuka now being 16, Soubi was 24. Needless to say, that was the end of their day dreams.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch (well, car), Ritsuka was carefully parallel parking. Soubi had told him what he needed to do, and went silent afterwards, knowing that the boy would learn better somewhat on his own. Which indeed he did. He had successfully parked, and was reaching to take the key out of the ignition, when suddenly Soubi caught his hand as a annoyingly familiar song started to play on the radio. There was only the intro beat before, to Ritsuka's utter surprise, Soubi started singing to the song, and even more, staring straight at him.

_Hey! Hey! You! You!_

_I don't like your girlfriend!_

_No way! No way!_

_I think you need a new one_

_Hey! Hey! You! You!_

_I could be your girlfriend_

_Hey! Hey! You! You!_

_I know that you like me_

_No way! No way!_

_You know it's not a secret_

_Hey! Hey! You! You!_

_I want to be your girlfriend_

Ritsuka broke out into a fit of laughter as his extremely gay fighter/lover/boyfriend sang along to the stupid up-beat song.

_You're so fine_

_I want you mine_

_You're so delicious_

_I think about ya all the time_

_You're so addictive_

_Don't you know what I could do to make you feel alright?_

_Don't pretend I think you know I'm damn precious_

_And Hell Yeah_

_I'm the motherfucking princess_

_I can tell you like me too and you know I'm right_

_She's like so whatever_

_And you could do so much better_

_I think we should get together now_

_And that's what everyone's talking about!_

_Hey! Hey! You! You!_

_I don't like your girlfriend!_

_No way! No way!_

_I think you need a new one_

_Hey! Hey! You! You!_

_I could be your girlfriend_

_Hey! Hey! You! You!_

_I know that you like me_

_No way! No way!_

_You know it's not a secret_

_Hey! Hey! You! You!_

_I want to be your girlfriend_

The "and hell yeah, I'm the motherfucking princess" part sent him into a whole nother dimension of hysterical laughter. All the while Soubi was bobbing his head as he sang the words like he sincerely meant them. Though, Ritsuka soon found out that that theory was sort of true (about Soubi being sincere with the words). Because, Soubi was smoothly climbing from his seat onto Rtisuka's lap, all the while still singing and staring.

_I can see the way, I see the way you look at me_

_And even when you look away I know you think of me_

_I know you talk about me all the time again and again_

_So come over here, tell me what I want to hear_

_Better yet make your girlfriend disappear_

_I don't want to hear you say her name ever again_

_(And again and again and again!)_

After this little bit of singing on Ritsuka's lap, Soubi obviously couldn't take it. His hands went around his sacrifices face and he pulled him into a passionate slobbery kiss. The rest of the annoying song seemed to not matter at all. It was simply the two gorgeous boys making out in Soubi's car. Though, finally the idea dawned on them that here they were, making out in a parked car. In which, said car was parked in front of their apartment, that had a scrumptiously inviting bed, just calling for them to come and bounce on it for a few. So, without breaking from face sucking, they somehow made it out of the car and into said apartment, and to said bed, where unsaid clothes went tumbling to the floor, and said boys went tumbling into/onto each other.

After their amazing session of love making (to Ritsuka, it seemed to get better each time they did it), Ritsuka pondered about some of his previous thoughts from earlier. Soubi really was VERY gay. But only showed his true gayness to him. Ritsuka suddenly came up with a devilishly funny idea.

One week later, a package arrived in the mail. Soubi had just walked out to get the mail, and was eyeing the suspicious package. He didn't recognize the company that had sent it, and he certainly hadn't ordered anything. Maybe Ritsuka had ordered something. But, then why was it addressed to him. It was Saturday, and Ritsuka had stayed home from school to stay with Soubi, knowing pridefully this would be the day the package would arrive.

"Ritsuka, do you know anything about this?" Soubi inquired holding the box up for his naked little Ritsuka lying on their bed to see.

"I don't know," Ritsuka started with a devilish grin growing rapidly on his lips, "why don't you open it and see." Soubi looked strangely at the boy, then the box. But, finally, he opened the box. His eyes went wide as he held up one of the many pairs of pink boxers with "Ritsuka's Girlfriend" lettered on the back. Needless to say, they both burst out laughing at the insignia of their humorous relationship.

Soubi, he was simply TOO gay. But Ritsuka loved him that way. He was, after all, his girlfriend.

_She's like so whatever_

_And you could do so much better_

_I think we should get together now_

_And that's what everyone's talking about!_

_Hey! Hey! You! You!_

_I don't like your girlfriend!_

_No way! No way!_

_I think you need a new one_

_Hey! Hey! You! You!_

_I could be your girlfriend_

_Hey! Hey! You! You!_

_I know that you like me_

_No way! No way!_

_You know it's not a secret_

_Hey! Hey! You! You!_

_I want to be your girlfriend_

_In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger_

_Cause I can, cause I can do it better_

_There's no other_

_So when's it gonna sink in?_

_She's so stupid_

_What the hell were you thinking?!_

_Hey! Hey! You! You!_

_I don't like your girlfriend!_

_No way! No way!_

_I think you need a new one_

_Hey! Hey! You! You!_

_I could be your girlfriend_

_Hey! Hey! You! You!_

_I know that you like me_

_No way! No way!_

_You know it's not a secret_

_Hey! Hey! You! You!_

_I want to be your girlfriend_


	3. Monster

Okay, this is an ACTUAL songfic, not just a fic with a song in it. The Song is "Monster" by Meg & Dia. The setting is back when Soubi was 13 and at the school for Sentouki, it takes place after Ritsu raped him...poor Sou!

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Loveless, nor do I own Meg & Dia...poo.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Soubi stared up at the blank ceiling above him. He, in a sense found comfort in knowing he too, would be like that ceiling one day. He would be the protector of his sacrifice. He would be unfaltering. He would not crumble. All at the same time, he was like the ceiling in the fact that he was blank. He was a blank fighter. He could be paired with any sacrifice, though, there was only one in that moment he wanted. Yet, in the pits of his stomach and with whatever bit of sanity left, he knew it wouldn't and shouldn't come to be. But, his emotions at that moment were so mixed. Here he was, thirteen, naked, and earless on Ritsu's bed.

The man, his sensei, who had no more than a hour ago taken his beautiful ears had left momentarily. He had told Soubi that he needed to attend to some business, and that he would be returning soon. But it didn't seem soon enough. Soubi didn't want to be alone, not now. Not after all of what had happened. Soubi knew that it was supposed to have been a experience of pleasure, but it was not so to him. It was painful the entire time. The man, Ritsu, his sensei, had been so ruff with him. His small ass was still lit with pain. Soubi wondered if all this was simply because it was his first time. But, Ritsu hadn't even told him that he loved him. Merely that he wanted him.

Soubi was taught to feel no pain. But, he felt it now. Soubi was taught to show no pain. But, the deep sickening feeling that was engulfing his being couldn't be contained. Tears fell like small beads of boiling water. They burned so badly in his eyes, begging to be released. His mouth contained no moisture, and his throat was burning itself inside out. He wanted to scream. He wanted to claw out his heart and discard the badly bruised thing. But, he quietly reminded himself, his heart would one day belong to his sacrifice. His sacrifice that he would love and protect.

Soubi didn't know much about love. Not because he was only thirteen, that played a part though. But, it was because he was never truly shown love. He wanted it though. He wanted some one to love him. No matter who it was. No matter what it took. As much as everything hurt, as much all of his feelings in that moment burned, he wanted the safety of love to drown his fire. He wanted love to coerce the flames that consumed his sad and pathetic being.

_His little whispers. "Love me, love me." _

_That's all I ask for. "Love me, love me." _

_He battered his tiny fists to feel something. _

_Wondered what it's like to touch to feel something. _

Suddenly, the door opened. Soubi looked up from his position on the bed to see Ritsu walk in, inevitably ignoring the soft figure laying on his bed. Ignoring the tender child he had so roughly tainted. Ritsu did in fact have feelings for the child. But, he had such a old dented and numbed heart, that he couldn't admit to them. He had too much pride for that.

Soubi stared at the man, making sure to wipe his tears away before Ritsu saw them. He knew if the man saw him crying he would simply beat him, and Soubi's body was still recovering from not only the rough sex, but also the previous beatings. The boy wanted to show his sensei he was strong. That he could handle anything dished out to him, but, his craving for love overcame him.

"Sensei...do you...do you love me?" Soubi squeaked out. He didn't want to sound so weak and innocent, but, he was merely a boy. There wasn't much he could do about that. But, the sensei ignored him, and turned to his computer. Soubi sat in the bed staring. A paranoid feeling rose from his stomach to his throat. Had he given up his ears too easily? He started to think of what everyone would be saying when they saw him. Everyone would know who did it. He simply couldn't take the stares without some sort of knowledge of love. He had MADE love, but he knew it wasn't the same as BEING loved.

_Monster. How should I feel? _

_Creatures lie here. _

_Looking through the windows_

"Ritsu...p-please, answer me. Do you love me?" The boy had to know. He had to. His chest was aching. He needed love. Even if only for a moment. Even if it were merely fake. He needed comfort, whether it be false or not.

_That night he caged her. _

_Bruised and broke her. _

_He struggled closer. _

_Then he stole her._

_Violette wrists and then her ankles._

_Silent Pain. _

_Then he slowly saw their nightmares were his dreams. _

Ritsu finally looked over and acknowledged the boy. As he stood from his computer and started walking towards the bed where the saddened Soubi sat, he replied, "Soubi-kun, of coarse I love you. Why do you even have to ask. I have made you into such a strong fighter already. In a years time you will be perfect." Ritsu smiled compassionately, for the first time, at his small trembling student.

Soubi smiled, and felt the fire somewhat extinguish. He was loved. He wasn't sure if it was real love, but it was better than nothing. He would have his sacrifice one day, anyways._  
_Ritsu came over and placed a hand on his young wards face. The boy was truly beautiful, breathtaking even. Just like his mother had been. But, Ritsu shoved those thoughts to the back of his mind as he started to kiss the boy. Slowly at first, but, then as the boy got into it, he deepened it. He could feel the young boy enjoying it. He decided it was time for another round.

_Monster. How should I feel?_

_Creatures lie here. _

_Looking through the windows. _

_I will. Hear their voices. _

_I'm a glass child. _

_I am Hannah's Regrets. _

After a while, Soubi found himself laying against the naked and sleeping form of his sensei, or more suitably, his lover. Even though the man had told him what he had wanted to hear, he couldn't help but still feel a weight burning at his chest. He felt so utterly sick. He knew this was wrong. He knew every bit of this was wrong. All he had wanted was to be loved.

_Monster. How should I feel? _

_Turn the sheets down. _

_Murder ears with pillow lace. _

_There's bath tubs. Full of glow flies. _

_Bathe in Kerosene. _

_Their words tattooed in his veins _


	4. Lip Gloss and Black

Ello again!!! This is another sort of sad (with a happy ending) songfic. The song is called "Lip Gloss and Black" by Atreyu. Thanx for the reviews, please keep em coming, it inspires me to write more! I'm gonna try, remember key word TRY, and post up a new addition to Songless everyday. I might even be posting two today if I can find a song to go with my story idea that is quite humorous. Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Loveless, nor do I own Atreyu...poo.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

_If I gave you pretty enough words_

_Could you paint a picture of us that works_

_With emphasis on function rather than design_

_Aren't you tired?_

_cause i will carry you_

_On a broken back and blown out knees_

_I have been where you are for a while_

It was all Soubi ever wanted ever since he first laid eyes on the beautiful young boy. He wanted to make the sad violet eyed boy happy. He wanted to peal off that tough outer shell the boy used to protect himself. But, at the same time, he was bound by his orders. He could never seem to really help the boy. Only make things worse. Whenever he would see the boy with new bandages and scars, his heart would gain another few pounds. It was all he could do to not reach out and grab the boy and hold him against his strong body that he knew would ultimately protect him. He did his best to show off to the boy, show him that he was strong enough to protect him. He would go off and fight alone, he would endure the pain, and he would ultimately win. He did so to show the boy how strong and powerful he really was. But, Ritsuka only saw it as stupidity.

Over the years, the two hadn't grown all that much closer. Ritsuka did accept Soubi as his fighter, but still with-held showing any of his true feelings to him. It had seemed to him like everyone that he had loved was taken from him. He had loved Seimei, but then he left Ritsuka. He pretended to be dead, he lied to Ritsuka, and left him to deal with his insane mother all on his own. He had abandoned him. Ritsuka could only come up with one reason for Seimei leaving him. It was because Ritsuka loved him, admitted that he loved him, and showed him that he loved him. Love. Whenever he showed love towards someone they always seemed to get hurt in some manner of way. It made him hate himself so much. 'It's all because of that God damn name. That fucking name: Loveless.' That was how Ritsuka saw it.

He reasoned his name was also to blame for the way his mother treated him. When he was younger, she would always catch him by surprise and beat him until she grew tired, and would walk away. Now, as he was older (17), he expected, and sometimes he inadvisably looked forward to the ritualistic beatings. It meant he could cover the emotional pain and rage that sickened him with a louder more fleeting type of pain. To someone like Soubi, it would all seem masochistic, but he didn't care. He had to deal with the pain, not anyone else. He didn't believe anyone else had the right to judge how he handled his own pain. And he always made it known whenever Soubi would try and intervene. He was surprised that the gorgeous beaten down man still gave a shit about him. He was surprised that he hadn't given up on him. It almost made him wish that he would. He would never admit it, but he loved Soubi. He didn't want to see Soubi hurt, it only made his own pain that much worse.

_Aren't you tired of being weak?_

_Such rage that you could scream_

_All the stars right out of the sky_

_And destroy the prettiest starry night_

_Every evening that I die_

"Hello Ritsuka." Soubi said to the boy at the gates who, if he wanted, could easily get an endorsement deal with any band-aid company of his choice. The dark teen **ALWAYS** seemed to have a new bandage somewhere. He had confronted him about it years ago, but gave up after seeing that it only angered the persistent boy.

"Hey." Ritsuka replied plainly. He and Soubi were in front of his new High School. Ritsuka completely hated the school. Neither Yuiko nor Yayoi had been sent to his school. They were together at a school in another district. That wasn't his only reason to hate it though. Ever since his first day, he had begun receiving hate mail. Somehow, majority of the school had found out he was gay. He guessed someone from his middle school who had seen him with Soubi spread the true rumor. So, practically all of the school was against him. He was constantly being shoved into lockers, and stalked by people yelling "queer" or "fag" at him. Being the person he was, he ignored it. They didn't understand the situation. So, he couldn't blame them for their inference, it did seem quite obvious that he and Soubi were more than "just friends". Seeing as how he always insisted on holding Ritsuka's hand, which he would for the most part allow. Though he didn't blame them for the inference, he did blame them for the taunting and physical pain they inflicted on him. It only fed to him being Loveless, he had concluded.

"Ritsuka, can we do something together today?" Soubi asked. It came out in a near begging pleading voice. Soubi was **DESPERATE** for at least a little attention from the boy, no, man in front of him. Soubi stayed his distance as best he could, but it hurt. It made him physically and mentally hurt to be so distant from the man he wanted more than anything. He reasoned, he would give his life if only to have one day where Ritsuka would show him love.

Ritsuka looked up into the pitiful face of his fighter. He could see the pain slicing through his gorgeous blue eyes. It all made Ritsuka's stomach twist in agony over what he should do. He couldn't show Soubi his love. But, could he at least show the man a little attention. He figured so, and nodded his head. Soubi smiled a honest to goodness genuine smile. It made Ritsuka smile a little bit too. He was glad to finally see the man smile. He couldn't remember the last time he had seen Soubi smile, let alone a **REAL** one. Not just one of those fake smiles he gave off. It made a little of the pain dissipate, knowing that Soubi was even for a moment happy.

Soubi grabbed Ritsuka's hand, and they started off in the direction of Soubi's apartment. "Soubi, where are we going?"

"My place." Soubi said with a triumphant smile.

"Soubi! What are you up to?" Ritsuka asked questioningly. He didn't want Soubi to get **ANY** wrong ideas. Though his stomach tightened when he saw a slight flinch of pain in Soubi's face.

"Don't worry Ritsuka. My intentions are honorable. I actually have something for you." He said, with a secretive smile slipping onto his face. Ritsuka looked at him with a scowl, but didn't say anything. He merely walked roboticly hand-in-hand with Soubi to his apartment.

_I am exhumed just a little less human and lot more bitter and cold_

_I am exhumed just a little less human and lot more bitter and cold_

_I am exhumed just a little less human and lot more bitter and cold_

_I am exhumed just a little less human..._

Soubi pulled the reluctant Ritsuka through the doorway of his apartment. Everything about it was the same as usual to Ritsuka. The same plain set of furniture. The same smell of cigarettes, paint, and vanilla. It was almost as if Soubi never touched anything, seeing as everything was always in the same place. Always.

Though, there was one thing different. In front of the couch, positioned on a stand, was a canvas covered with a sheet. Ritsuka wondered if this was what Soubi said he had for him. As seemingly to answer his unspoken question, Soubi led him over to the couch, and signaled for him to sit. Keeping his eyes pinned to the sheet the whole time, he sat. Soubi glanced over at Ritsuka, as if to reassure himself, then whipped off the sheet that covered the canvas. The sight of the images on the canvas made Ritsuka's mouth drop, and tears well in his eyes.

On the canvas was a portrayal of Ritsuka smiling and looking utterly at bliss, wrapped around him were wings of a butterfly. In the background was snow, and a very dead looking rose bush with a very alive looking single rose. Soubi was very proud of the painting. He loved to see Ritsuka smile, and used one of the few memories he had of Ritsuka smiling for it. Soubi had specifically painted a blue butterfly, signifying what they both knew to be him. But the background, they background was where they were now. Cold estranged feelings and distance, shown as the snow. A hollow pain and tragedy, shown as the dead rose bush. And the hope that there is a shot at the love they could have, shown as the single rose. Because that was really all they had left. One rose, one shot. All others had withered and died. This was the last rose left. Even if it were though, Soubi knew he would never leave the boys side.

_After all these images of pain_

_Have cut right through you_

_I will kiss every scar and weep_

_You are not alone_

_Then I'll show you that place,_

_in my chest where my heart,_

_still tries to beat;_

_It still tries to beat_

Ritsuka couldn't hold it in. He knew he was about to burst. So, to avoid the tragedy that would come from it, he shot up and ran out of the apartment, leaving a very hurt looking Soubi behind. He didn't completely leave though. He merely sank down the wall next to Soubi's front door. He was so sick. His chest felt like it had a semi-truck dumped on it. The burning in his eyes and throat seemed to grow hotter for each drawn out second that went by. He wanted to show Soubi that he loved him back. That he loved him more than anything else in the world. That he felt so much more love for Soubi than he had even felt for Seimei. His head pounded with all his thoughts. A loud banging in his ears was making him crazy. Finally, he opened his mouth and out came a sobbing shriek: **"FUCK!"**

_Aren't you tired of being weak?_

_Such rage that you could scream_

_All the stars right out of the sky_

_And destroy the prettiest starry night_

_Every evening that I die_

He kept screeching that, over and over. Soubi heard him. But he himself was crying. He debated on whether or not he should go out there. He thought to himself that the boy probably didn't want anything to do with him. That he should simply give up. But, after that last thought, he mentally kicked himself in the balls. He had to be there for Ritsuka, even if it killed him. Even if Ritsuka didn't want him, he would be there. He had to.

Ritsuka had stopped screaming, but was still shaking violently and sobbing. He didn't even notice the door beside him open. Nor did he notice the tall blond who kneeled down in front of him. He didn't notice until Soubi grabbed the wrists to his hands that were gripping the skin that covered his battered heart. Ritsuka's tear filled violet eyes shot up into the blue ones that looked just as defeated as his own. Soubi was trying to lift Ritsuka's hands from his chest, but Ritsuka simply yelled in a hoarse shriek "**NO!-STOP! IT HURTS! I JUST WANT IT OUT! DAMNIT..I WANT IT TO STOP!**"

Soubi stared confused and wide eyed at the tragic sight of his sacrifice. "What hurts Ritsuka? Tell me, please." Soubi said in his usual calm voice, but this time it was laced with concern.

"**THIS GOD DAMN HEART!!! THAT'S WHAT!" **Ritsuka again yelled in a hoarse shriek.

"Why Ritsuka?" Soubi asked in the same voice with even more confusion in his face.

"Because...I don't want to hurt you. I don't want you to turn on me like Seimei...like mom...I don't want you to get hurt from me loving you." Ritsuka said softly between his shuddering cries. He barely whispered the last part though, hoping Soubi didn't really hear it. But, Soubi had heard it.

A light bulb suddenly lit up above Soubi's head. He kicked himself for not realizing it sooner. Ritsuka was, after all, Loveless. It wasn't that Ritsuka didn't love him, he was simply scared to. It did seem that everyone he loved betrayed him, left him. Soubi was overwhelmed with relief that it wasn't his fault. The boy had just practically told him that he loved him.

"Ritsuka, I love you too." His eyes fished around in Ritsuka's shocked eyes, as realization came to the boy that Soubi had indeed heard his words. Soubi brushed his lips against the quivering ones of his sacrifice. They had their foreheads pressed against each other and were merely staring into each others eyes. After a minute or so, Ritsuka's violent shaking and sobs quieted to silent tears. Soubi was also crying. But, they still stared into each others eyes. Lost in a trance of each others broken soul.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, Ritsuka spoke up, "Soubi, is it okay if I stay over with you tonight?" He said softly.

"Of coarse, I'd be honored." Soubi said and slightly smiled before kissing his sweet sacrifice.

_Live, Love, Burn, Die_

_Live, Love, Burn, Die_

_Live, Love, Burn, Die_

_Live, Love, Burn, Die_


	5. Shake It

Ello again. This one is supposed to be more humorous. I really couldn't find a song to put IN the story, so I found one for AFTER the story. The song is "Shake it" by Metro Station...to all you iTuners, it is currently the free download! Enjoy! AND PLEAS READ & REVIEW!!!!

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Loveless, nor do I own Metro Station...poo.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ritsuka, would you like me to come?" Soubi seemed to ask him that every year. Ever since sixth grade, the year they met, he had asked. Each year, like a old re-run, he would leave the note explaining that the specific Saturday would be parents day at school. And, like each year, his mother would leave the letter crumpled up on the floor. Soubi would inevitably be over, as he seemed to be more and more often now, and would always ask if Ritsuka had wanted him to come in his parents stead. Each time Ritsuka secretly wanted him to come. The first time, sixth grade, he put up his high wall of defenses and ordered him not to. Of coarse, he had ended up secretly sad when Soubi didn't show up, even though he had ordered him not to. That didn't stop him from coming after school to greet him though. The second time, when Ritsuka had been in seventh grade, he wasn't as defensive, he just claimed he couldn't care less. He told Soubi to save himself from the boring day. The third time, eighth grade, he basically repeated the same exact thing. By ninth grade, he had completely warmed up to the fighter, and still told him not to come. He actually would have had Soubi come, but, his home room teacher at the time had a **TERRIBLE** crush on Soubi. She would always stare at Soubi from the window towards the end of school, just like Ritsuka had.

But, this year, his tenth grade year, he decided to let Soubi come. Over the years Soubi had grown to mean so much to him. He had even admitted to Soubi his love for him. That, of course had been a big and awkward challenge. It had happened in the eighth grade over winter break. Ritsuka had gotten the flu, and was scared to tell his mother, not knowing exactly how she would react. He hid his sickness, even to Soubi, or at least he tried. Soubi instantly noticed the flush on his sacrifices face that hadn't belonged to any embarrassment that he had caused. He had asked Ritsuka over and over to come and stay with him, but Ritsuka refused. So, Soubi merely stayed with the stubborn boy that night, until he had finally gone into a not-so-peaceful sleep. That was when Soubi had obviously carried him to his apartment, seeing as Ritsuka woke up in Soubi's bed, completely unaware of what had happened. At first, he was furious that Soubi had kidnaped him. That was, until he walked into the bedroom with a tray of chicken noodle soup and a little vase with a single purple orchid in it, along with a big smile. Ritsuka couldn't possibly be mad at the man who took such tender care of him.

After about 2 boxes of tissues, nine cans of soup, one trash bag of vomit, and three days, Ritsuka felt nearly healed. He had been laying in the bed with Soubi on that third day, and thinking back at how good Soubi had been to him. How Soubi had gently rubbed his back with one hand, and kept his hair out the way of his steady stream of puke with the other. How Soubi had brought all of his painting things into the room so he could keep vigil on Ritsuka, and at the same time entertain and keep him company. How Soubi had rented all of his favorite movies and snuggled with the sniffly boy on the couch with a big fleece blanket over themselves as they watched all the movies back to back until he had fallen asleep curled up into Soubi. He though about all of the fond memories as he stared at the devastatingly gorgeous face of his fighter. He wondered how he could ever repay Soubi for how he had taken care of him. Then, he finally realized the one thing that would make the fighter happier than anything. Even though he knew the feeling was true, that didn't make it any less harder to say.

"Soubi, I...I love you. I love you." Ritsuka had said as he snuggled closer and closer into his elated fighter. Ritsuka could clearly remember the pulsating feeling as their bond had grown in that instant that he admitted his feelings. That night, as he had started to undress to take a bath, Soubi came up from behind him with awe in his face and grabbed the side of Ritsuka's lower waist. Part of him had considered smacking that greedy hand away, but another part wanted the hand to keep exploring. It wasn't until he saw a glimpse in the mirror of what had awed the fighter to suddenly touch him, did he know. There, underneath the fluidic fingers of his fighter lay the name "Loveless". It made him want to cry and smile at the same time. He utterly hated the name, but loved the fact that it was to be his and Soubi's to share. Realization that **HE **and **SOUBI** were to share a name smacked him in the head, and he whipped around to yank the bandages from Soubi's neck. For a moment, Soubi had looked surprised, then realization of it all hit him as well. They both started to cry when they saw that the name "Beloved" no longer lay on his neck. As Soubi lifted his shirt to inspect, he found the name "Loveless" in the same spot where he had found Ritsuka's. Needless to say, Ritsuka had never been so glad to be sick and kidnaped in his life.

So, here he was. At school with his beloved fighter. The necko boy though, introduced Soubi as simply a very close family friend to his home room teacher Katsu-sensei, rather than as his lover or his fighter. He could only imagine the reactions he would have gotten from **THAT**. Everything seemed to be going smoothly on that Saturday at school. Half of the class looked awkward and embarrassed beside their parents, or were like Yuiko, simply happy their parents had taken off **ANY** time to spend with them. Ritsuka had been the only student to not show up with a parent or relative, but truly, he didn't care. Soubi meant much more to Ritsuka than any of his relatives, including Seimei. Soubi meant **SO** much more to him than Seimei.

Katsu-sensei had asked the parents to one at a time come up and say a little about what they each do for a living, seeing as how most recently the class had been researching future jobs and what type of jobs interested them. Ritsuka already knew that he more or less wanted to be a author, seeing as how he could easily if nothing else, write a series on the "imaginary" world of fighter and sacrifice pairs. When he had told Soubi the idea, he laughed and said that he could write it based on them. It didn't really seem like a bad idea at all, truthfully. He could also do one on the Zero's, well, both of the Zero's. Though it would mostly be on the male Zero's that he and Soubi still were close friends with.

Finally, it was Soubi's turn to go up in front of the class. Ritsuka smiled as he watched his beautiful fighter gracefully waltz up in front of the class and bare one of his irresistibly charming smiles. Unfortunately, someone other than Ritsuka had admired Soubi's dance like walk and stunning beauty. Soubi without hesitation started his little speech in that rich comforting voice Ritsuka felt he sometimes took for granted. Soubi stated his name and that he was "a close family friend of Ritsuka's". He then began to explain his free-lance painting job. How he sometimes taught morning classes at the local art college, seeing as how he graduated there. But as Ritsuka listened in, he couldn't help but feel something was wrong. It wasn't until he glanced over at Katsu-sensei that he realized what was bothering him.

Katsu-sensei was staring intensely at Soubi from his standing point nearly four or so feet from Soubi. He wasn't staring like a teacher intently listening to a speech, but as a lion watching his prey. Katsu-sensei's eyes rolled all over Soubi's perfect body. Mainly staring at his, uh-hum, assets. Ritsuka watched enraged as his sensei kept staring and licking his lips. When Ritsuka saw the front of Katu-sensei's pants tent, he had had all he could take. He bolted from his desk, leaving it to fall dramatically to the floor, and grabbed the damned sensei buy the collar and proceeded to lift the shorter man off the ground and against the wall. Soubi merely stared in awe at the rash actions taken by his normally well natured sacrifice.

"Stop staring at Soubi as if he were a God damn meal. He doesn't belong to you. And if I ever catch you just as much as glancing at him, God forbid you will never be able to fucking walk again!" Ritsuka snared in a low enough voice so that the parents around them couldn't hear. A few men had started towards them, so he released his hold on the prick and looked over to the still shocked Soubi. He smiled bashfully at him. Katsu-sensei was staring at him with rage. His cheeks were nearly as crimson as Ritsuka's were the first time he had kissed Soubi.

"**AOYAGI! LEAVE THIS CLASSROOM, NOW!**" Katsu-sensei yelled at him. Soubi was already standing at his side, with a quirky smile pricking at the corners of his mouth.

"With pleasure, come on Soubi." With that, he and Ritsuka left. Once outside of the classroom though, he turned to Soubi and said, "Soubi, when are you going to stop making my teachers either horny or lovesick?" He said with a playful smile. This would be the third teacher that had fallen victim to Soubi's perfection.

"I can't help being sexy Ritsuka." Soubi said with a slick smile as they walked out the front door to the school, where they were finally able to hold hands and be as touchy feely as they wanted.

"Then maybe I can't help wanting you." Ritsuka said in a fairly serious tone. Soubi looked at him surprised. He wasn't quite sixteen yet, but he wanted to do it. He was only a few weeks from his birthday anyway.

"What my Ritsuka wants, my Ritsuka gets." Soubi said flirtatiously, and leaned over to peck a couple of kisses on the younger ones lips as they walked hand-in-hand back to Soubi's apartment for some "extra-curricular activities".

_"Let's drop!_

_I'll take you home if you won't leave me at the front door_

_Your bodies cold but boy were gettin so warm_

_And I was thinking of ways that I could get inside_

_Tonight your fallen in love_

_(well here we go now)_

_This feelin's tearing me up_

_(here we go now)_

_Now he does it like this_

_When you do it like that_

_Now he touches like this_

_When you touch him like that_

_Now he moves like this_

_When you move it like that_

_Well come on_

_Shake, shake - shake, shake_

_shake, shake - a-shake it_

_His lips tremble but his eyes are in a straight stare_

_Were on the bed but our clothes are lie'n right there_

_And I was thinking of places I can hide_

_Tonight your fallen in love_

_(well here we go now)_

_This feelin's tearing me up_

_(here we go now)_

_Now he does it like this_

_When you do it like that_

_Now he touches like this_

_When you touch him like that_

_Now he moves like this_

_When you move it like that_

_Well come on_

_Shake, shake - shake, shake_

_a-shake it_

_Saw you dancing and I couldn't get you off my mind_

_I could tell that you could tell that I was takin my time_

_I was just thinkin of ways to make you stay the night_

_Body shakin, help me up so I can turn off the lights_

_Now he does it like this_

_When you do it like that_

_Now he touches like this_

_When you touch him like that_

_Now he moves like this_

_When you move it like that_

_Well come on_

_Shake, shake - shake, shake_

_a-shake it_

_(for own preference I change 'girl' to boy in the song lyrics.)_


	6. Nothing New

Ello Lovelys. Here is another addition. This time it is set to "Nothing New" by Ashlee Simpson. Personally I am not all that fond of her music, or at least sound of music, but the lyrics I think are quite good. Anyway, this song mainly has to do with Ritsuka and his mom. Only the first six lines apply to him and Soubi. Enjoy, and PLEASE READ & REPLY!!! I need your critique's! Please! It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside to hear your opinions!

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Loveless, nor do I own Ashlee Simpson...poo.

--------------------------------------------------------------

_I find myself wrong again_

_Staring out my window_

_Wondering what it is that I should've said_

_I find myself at home again_

_Waiting for the after call_

_From a fallout that feels like such a mess_

_Oh I can only be myself_

_I'm sorry that's hell for you_

Ritsuka stared out of the balcony glass door that he knew his fighter wouldn't enter through tonight. Not after the horrible things Ritsuka had said to him. Not after he had told Soubi to "Go to hell." It scared him to think that Soubi might actually do something as dumb as **ACTUALLY** go to hell. That was how Soubi always seemed to be. The orders Ritsuka wanted him to follow, he would neglect. Then the orders Ritsuka didn't actually want him following, Soubi would follow. It frustrated him how the man seemed to have no true will of his own. Expect for of course, Soubi's will to get into Ritsuka's pants. That will power in him seemed to be working perfectly fine. He didn't seem to ever stop trying to steal the fifteen year olds ears. Ritsuka would never admit it, but he wanted to give in to Soubi's will the more he would chase Ritsuka. It was the question of 'what would he chase then' that lingered in Ritsuka's mind. He never wanted the man to leave him. He enjoyed watching the man chase him too much. Though, he was getting tired of running.

Ritsuka seemed to always be running. Running from Soubi's love and care. Running from his mother as she would throw anything that she could grab in her fits of rage. Running from the ever concerned faces of his friends at school. Running from the past. Running from his memories. Ritsuka was always running. For so long, it had seemed as though he could keep up the race forever. But as time started to slip away, and the path underneath him turned into sharp curves and never ending miles, it became harder and harder to run. He was running out of breath. His legs were becoming rubbery. His mind had started to fog. He had been straining himself so much, that he knew that it wouldn't be long until his body would finally give out and collapse. Not much longer indeed.

_Hey so what's my damaged today_

_Don't let me get in your way_

_Let it out like you always do_

_The trouble between me and you _

_Is nothing new_

Ritsuka opened the new cell phone Soubi had given him for his birthday. It was a thin and sleek purple flip phone with a camera. He really loved the fact that it was a camera phone, and Soubi had known he would. Seeing as it was Ritsuka's love to make "memories". Now he didn't always have to lug around his camera. But, as Ritsuka stared at the wallpaper on his phone, he started to cry. The picture was of Soubi. It was Ritsuka's favorite. He had taken it one day when he was over at Soubi's while Soubi was painting. Soubi's face seemed so determined, and yet so at peace. Ritsuka had snapped a quick shot while the fighter wasn't looking. Normally, the sight of the picture would make him smile. But now, it only brought a dejected cry. He did love the man. He did want to tell him he loved him. Though he feared that somehow, everything would crumble if he admitted his true feelings.

He grazed his fingers gingerly over the keypad on the little violet phone. He was undecided whether or not to call. But, somehow he knew that if he called Soubi, he would surely lose his voice. So, he settled on pressing all the proper keys to open a blank text. He slowly punched in the words that he feared to say. The words he wanted to say. The words he was pained to say. He was like a abused dog. When a person gently, sweetly, calmly stuck out their hand to show the dog compassion, he was the dog that would look warily at the hand. Thinking to himself that if he went to that hand it may suddenly turn and hit him. That was how his relationship with his mother had always been. She would pretend to be the kind loving mother, he would think she was faking it, but wanted his mothers affection so bad that he would finally cave in. Upon which, his mother would turn on him. Say that he was nothing more than a fake, a lie,...a mistake.

Just as he hit the send button, his mother came into the room. He froze, expecting her to wield a knife or something along the lines of which to damage him with. But, to his surprise, she had nothing in her hands. She smiled at the boy on the bed, and he did his best to smile back. Hoping that with each second she would leave. The tension in the air was sickly wrapping around Ritsuka's neck, threatening to quickly snap it. Ritsuka felt his heart speed rapidly against his chest. He could hear it. He could hear it pounding in his ears. He could feel it pulsing his neck.

"Hello my Ritsuka. How are you? I wanted to come up here and see what you were doing. Make sure your okay. Your always locked up in your room alone Ritsuka. Is something the matter?" His mother said sweetly, which ultimately translated to creepy. He silently shook his head as she walked over and sat down on the bed in-between him and the night stand.

"What a lovely phone, when did you get it?" Ritsuka looked at his mother wearily, but it in the end didn't have a chance to answer. Not like he would had, though. His mother grabbed the strip of photos he and Soubi had taken together in a photo-booth that was in one of the local malls. They had taken them on Ritsuka's birthday. Ritsuka's mother stared wide and wild eyed at the photo's she had grabbed from his night stand. For the most part the pictures had been innocent. One with he and Soubi smiling and flashing the peace sign. A second picture had him close to Soubi, with Soubi's arm around the boys shoulder pulling him close. Another one of him and Soubi laughing. And the last, the main purpose for his mothers glare: He and Soubi locked in a passionate kiss.

Ritsuka briefly thought of jumping off the bed and dashing out of the room. But, he knew that would only infuriate his mother more. So, he sat like a statue on the bed. A statue with a deathly fast heartbeat.

After the few seconds that felt like forever, his mother finally reacted. She clenched the hand that held the pictures into a fist, crumpling the photos into a twisted mess. Her distant insane eyes shot up and glared at him. All the while, her hands trembling.

"**YOU...YOU ARE NOT MY RITSUKA!! MY RITSUKA IS NOT A DIRTY BOY! MY RITSUKA WOULD NEVER DO SOMETHING THIS..THIS DISGUSTING**!"

_So I listen to complain and then_

_I bite my tongue in vain again_

_As I let it all just slowly settle in_

_Such a pretty picture that you paint_

_I'm so vile_

_While your a saint_

_Funny how your eyes see thick not thin_

_Oh I can only be myself_

_You're looking for someone else_

With that sharp yell, she flung herself onto the boy. Pinning him to the bed as she spat in his face. Then started clawing at his face with her long nails leaving small trails of blood. Ritsuka tried to carefully remove his mother from her position on top of him, but it was to no avail. He wouldn't harm her, and that was the only way he would be able to get her off him. Though, suddenly she started sitting up and got off the bed. Though, as soon as she was off, she grabbed him by his collar and yanked his body with all the rage induced force in her. He fell to the floor next to the night stand. The side of his head slamming into the corner of the it as he went, and leaving a small gash. She started kicking him, and when that wasn't enough, she grabbed his still lit lamp from the night stand and smashed it against his head. After momentarily hearing the lampshade split and the light bulb break against his head. After seeing it spark and his mom hitting him one last time with the length of the lamp, he slipped away from the world to be greeted by darkness and shallow buzzing.

_You know how to give it_

_But you can't take it_

_It's all just a waste_

_So now you can save it_

_No matter what I do_

_It's never good enough_

_Never good enough _

Oo

Soubi had received the blessed text from his Ritsuka minutes ago, and was now happily walking to Ritsuka's house. He couldn't wait to see the boy. _The boy that loved him. _Ritsuka had sent him a brief text. Yet, in the few words he had used, Soubi felt more overwhelming happiness than he surely would had from a mile long poem of the boys love. Such brief words meant honesty coming from Ritsuka. Soubi looked back down at the still open screen, pecking at a button to bring the screen back to life, and then stared for the millionth time at he text message that made him feel so complete.

_"Sorry. I love you."_

As Soubi approached the house, an eerie feeling fell upon him. Something wasn't right. He glanced up into the darkness of his beloved sacrifices room and felt Ritsuka's presence, but it was such a faint feeling. Something was **DEFINITELY** wrong.

He climbed up to the balcony faster than he had ever before. Only to feel his heart sink at the sight he saw through the glass door. Ritsuka was crumpled on the floor in the fetal position next to his bed. There was a small pool of blood beginning to form around the boys head. A badly broken lamp lay next to the figure, along with a wad of something that looked like paper.

Soubi shot through the door and kneeled down the sullen sight of the battered boy. This had obviously been the work of his mother. Soubi called out the boys name, held his hand, but received no reaction what-so-ever. As tears fell from his face, he scooped up the badly injured boy and proceeded to leave through Ritsuka's **ACTUAL** door. The boy had always scolded him for using the balcony as his own personal door-step, and would be proud to know that he was doing the "civilized" thing and left through the house. His wretched mother hadn't been anywhere within sight. Which was a good thing. Soubi did not think he would have been able to control himself around the woman in that instance. Even if it meant Ristuka never forgiving him again, he knew he would have greedily killed the woman.

Soubi carefully ran to the hospital that was eight blocks away. He made sure his stride was smooth as not to jostle the boy. When he had finally arrived at the ER, he instantly caught all of the doctors and nurses attention with the tragically beautiful badly injured boy in his arms. They quickly took the boy back into a room where Soubi was not allowed to go. He could still feel Ritsuka, but the feeling was growing weaker, and weaker with each second that passed. He stood, pacing the waiting room for hours. Wondering, wishing, waiting. He could finally start to feel Ritsuka a little more, and it calmed him a bit.

Finally after being in the waiting room and answering all the questions from the nurses, he was able to easily feel Ritsuka. It wasn't as strong as it should have been, but it was much better that the previous scare. He had thought he was going to lose the boy he held so dear. He wasn't sure if he could handle it. But, Ritsuka was healing. He **WOULD **heal. And Soubi knew he would be there every step of the way.

-

"I wonder how he got that marking on him?"

"Who knows with kids these days."

Ritsuka awoke to two voices talking. But about what? What did that one voice mean by "marking"? His head was pounding, so he let that thought slip away as he groggily opened his heavy eyes. He moved his lips as if he were about to say something, but his lips wouldn't comply. They were dry, and Ritsuka could feel some sort of film on them. His mouth was as dry as a bone, and had a horrible taste.

The two people in the room finally glanced at him and noticed him stir. They started to say something to him, but he couldn't quite make out the words this time. One held a couple of fingers in front of his face. He scowled and pulled his heavy hand up to signal to the dumb-asses that his mouth was too dry to speak. The other person left the room and came back with a white styrofoam cup with a straw poking out of it. The person walked up to him and held the straw up to where Ritsuka could easily and heartily gulp down the cold, wet water. He had never been so glad for water before in his life.

"What happened?" He managed to say hoarsely. He barely recognized his own voice on account of how hoarse he was. "What's wrong with me?"

"Well, you had a concussion, and you have a rather large gash on your head, along with two broken ribs and other minor bruises. Your friend Agatsuma-san found you. He brought you here..."

Ritsuka hadn't heard the last part of what the person had said. He was so focused on the fact that Soubi, Soubi had brought him here. Soubi had saved him. Soubi. Wait, where is Soubi, he thought. Just then, the door opened.

**"SOUBI!!!" **Ritsuka's estranged voice screamed at the sight of the corn silk haired, blue eyed, tall lovely man he wanted. Soubi had a desperate smile on his face as he practically ran to Ritsuka's side. Ritsuka had his hand outstretched toward him, and Soubi happily took it as he got to Ritsuka's side. They simply gazed into each others eyes as the ignored dumb asses walked out of the room. Soubi stroked Ritsuka's face gingerly, doing his best not to look at the IV inside Ritsuka. He hated the idea of Ritsuka all pinned and prodded. But, that didn't matter. As long as he got better, fast.

Without words, Ritsuka shifted over in the bed to make room for Soubi, who carefully slipped into the bed beside Ritsuka. Ritsuka laid on his back, head turned to Soubi as Soubi laid on his side with one arm wrapped around Ritsuka's waist. They laid there together, wordless, with their foreheads pressed together, merely gazing into each others eyes. They stayed like that until Soubi silently whispered, "I love you too."

Ritsuka smiled, happy for once to hear those words. He soon after drifted back into sleep next to Soubi. Little did he know about the "marking" under the hand that held his waist. Little did he know, and little did he care.

_Save your breath 'cause here comes the truth_

_I'm over the drama of you_

_And that's something new_

_Well, I'm staring out my window_

_Wondering what it is I should have said_


	7. 7 Minutes in Heaven

Ello!! Sorry I didn't post sooner! I was at my dad's so I couldn't. Anywayz, the song is "7 Minutes in Heaven" by Fall Out Boy (of course!) Umm...not much else to say, but PLEASE if you READ then REVIEW!!! They make my day!

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Loveless, nor do I own Fall Out Boy...normally I just say poo, but now this is major...SOBS AND SCREAMS...NOOOOOOOOOOO

---------------------------------------------------

_I'm sleeping my way out of this one  
With anyone who will lie down  
I'll be stuck fixated on one star  
When the world is crashing down_

The violet eyes belonging to the young Loveless sacrifice stared at the glass door of his balcony. It was almost as if, in Ritsuka's subconscious, if he stared at it hard enough, his fighter would appear. He hated admitting it, but he had really and truly started to crave the visits from his fighter. In school his grades were starting to slip for the mere case that he was unable to concentrate on anything other than the previous visits from Soubi, or the ones to come. Everything he saw, every word he heard, it all seemed to have some sort of connection with the man that constantly haunted his mind.

_I keep telling myself  
I keep telling myself  
I'm not the desperate type  
But you've got me looking in through blinds  
I keep telling myself  
I keep telling myself  
I'm not the desperate type_

So, here he was. It was Saturday. Ritsuka wanted his fighter over so badly. He wanted the warmth of his chiseled snow white chest clothed in what was sure to be a black turtle neck, pressed to him. Even more so he wanted Soubi's soft, warm, perfect lips to entwined with his. He wanted Soubi's hand to reach under his shirt and tease. He wanted to tease back. But, he was also scared of his wants sometimes (even though they had already had sex). He figured, something must be wrong with him. Kids his age weren't supposed to have feelings like these. Kids his age were supposed to eat show cones and play in the park. Read light humorous manga and have sleep-overs. But, Ritsuka was in NO way a normal kid. He belonged to a strange and still utterly mysterious world of Sentouki and sacrifice. In which they battled other teams by word spell. Kids his age didn't have a 22 year old stalker/boyfriend/lover/(sentouki).

Soubi was good about not waiting for him at the gates anymore at his school. It had started to draw too much attention to the couple. In which, "normal" kids don't meet up with their 22 year old boyfriends after school Normal kids don't have sex with their 22 year old boyfriend. Let alone even have a 22 year old boyfriend.

Ritsuka sighed after his massive chain of thoughts. Soubi hadn't called him that day, or even sent a text. Ritsuka started to feel a panicky feeling wrapping its sour arms around his stomach. He wanted to believe that he was probably working a neglected art project, or something. Wanted to even believe he was high as a kite back at his apartment enjoying the lovely sound of one of those hippie bands he loves so much. Wanted to believe any idea, as long as it wasn't the one that was wrenching in his stomach. "Maybe he doesn't want to see me. Maybe, maybe he's sick of me." Ritsuka didn't want to think that. But, it couldn't be helped. The evil voice in head chimed that over and over. Making his stomach lurch.

_Sitting out dances on the wall  
Trying to forget everything that isn't you  
I'm not going home alone  
Cause I don't do too well  
_

It was late, the sun no longer peeked from the clouds outside the glass door, and the moon had ultimately taken it's place. He had been sitting at his computer desk, where he had previously before being invaded by his own mind, been looking at old pictures of he and Soubi from over the years. The collection had greatly added up. The folder with pictures of the two contained 567 photos that they had taken together. The number of them had started to really increase about a year ago. That was when he finally accepted his Sentouki completely. That was when he had knocked down his own walls and allowed the man in. That was when he had realized exactly what his feelings for Soubi were. That was also, when he had lost his ears. Resulting in an even stronger bond than thought possible. They both knew, that their bond was just as strong, if not stronger than it would be even if they shared a name.

_The only thing worse than not knowing  
Is you thinking that I don't know  
I'm having another episode  
I just need a stronger dose  
_

Ritsuka finally sighed, and got up to walk over to his bed, though as he did so, he saw something on the floor move from the corner of his eyes. As he focused on it, he released a loud high pitched girly scream, and sprang onto his bed. There, on the floor was a HUGE cockroach just wandering around the hardwood floor of his room. Ritsuka was whimpering like a puppy, mentally screaming Soubi's name. He HATED HATED HATED cockroaches. He could normally will himself to squash the little ones, but big ones were a totally different story. And this one was REALLY BIG! If he had to compare it to anything to show how big it was, he would say it was the size of his closed cell phone. It was really THAT big!

Ritsuka stood on his bed with his arms encircling himself. He began to cry and whimper loudly. He was TERRIFIED of cockroaches. He wanted Soubi there. He knew Soubi would protect him. That he would save him from the giant cockroach making its way idly around his room. Just then, his very prayers were answered. The glass door slid open and a puzzled face looked up at the boy standing and crying on his bed. But his face suddenly turned into surprise as the boy jumped from the bed towards Soubi.

_I keep telling myself  
I keep telling myselfI'm not the desperate type  
But you've got me looking in through blinds  
I keep telling myself  
I keep telling myself  
I'm not the desperate type_

Soubi, though unprepared, caught the flying boy in his arms. The boy clung onto him like a cat clinging to a wall. He put his hand on the earless head and started petting the obviously scared boy.

"What is it Ritsuka?" Soubi asked in his creamy smooth voice.

"Co-cockroach!" The scared little Ritsuka said in his arms as he pointed on the floor where the massive black bug was leisurely walking. Soubi smiled at the younger for being so completely and utterly cute. It gave him a major ego boost knowing the boy came to him for protection. Even if it was merely protection from a freakishly big bug.

Soubi walked casually with the boy still in his arms over to the bug. Without hesitation he let his foot drop on the huge thing making it crunch loudly under his shoe. He smiled down a the boy, and said "All gone."

The boy looked up at him, feet falling to the floor, and started hugging his sentouki as if he had really saved his life. The way Ritsuka had been mentally calling out to him, it WOULD have seemed like he had save his life.

"Soubi," The younger started as he looked up into the still taller than him face and said, "what would I do without you?" With that said, Ritsuka wove his hands into Soubi's hair around his head as he pulled the face towards him. He attacked the lips with loving force. After the small amount of time of REALLY kissing, he had become quite skilled. He quickened the kiss, and soon after deepened the now overpoweringly lust filled kiss. Ritsuka let one of his hands slide from the older's hair onto the mans waist, teasingly placing the tips of his fingers into the waistband of the mans boxer-briefs. Ultimately signaling his intentions.

As the two went on with their lusting ways, the question stated before still hanging in the air referred to more than one thing, and both knew it. Ritsuka knew now, he wouldn't be that well on his own.

_Sitting out dances on the wall  
Trying to forget everything that isn't you  
I'm not going home alone  
Cause I don't do too well on my own  
_


	8. Apologize

Yup...I finally wrote another story to go in the Songless series! This is about Ritsuka and Soubi's encounter with Seimei at the school of Seven Voices. If you haven't at the very least read up to volume 7, I probly just ruined this for ya. But, whatever...you'd find out anywayz...So yeah, this somewhat versed from translated scans and my own interpretation of what goes down...and what I hope will go down...KILL THAT BASTARD SOU-CHAN!!! heheheh...I hate Seimei's mother-fucking guts SO bad...can't wait until the bastard is dead...sorry to you Seimei lovers out there, but the guy is just WRONG!

Anywayz...yeah, it's to "Apologize" by One Republic (i think that's the name...?) Heheheh...I know it's a popular song and all, and normally I hate popular songs...surprisingly enough my mom got me into this song...heheh...yeah. Read it and Review it people. I shall love you forever!

**XXXxxxXXXxxxXXXxxxXXX**

There he was, no less that four yards away. But, those four yards felt more like a thousand. The distant stare that was directed at Zero was cold and merciless. It wasn't the loving stare that he had associated with his brother, it was something different. Dare he say, it was the stare of the evil person everyone around him had been describing, and using his beloved brothers name beside the horrible descriptions. It couldn't be. It simply couldn't be.

Within the second it took to glance over the scene and see the ghost of what was his brother, Ritsuka had hurled himself across the four yards separating himself and the person he had been so desperately searching justice for. But, he was alive. How? Ritsuka could easily question his own sanity, and if this was merely a dream. But, the heat and pressure from the body he had clung himself onto said otherwise. It told him this wasn't a lie. That Seimei really was alive. That he had been alive all this time. But, if that were the case, then why...

Ritsuka's mind reeled, his mouth was moving, and a few snippets of his thoughts tumbled out. Everyone around him must of thought his words were deliberate, though that wasn't so. His mind roamed over all the things that had happened. How could his brother have left him? Left him to deal day in and day out with the abuse from his mother, the neglect of his father. How could his brother have left him so absolutely alone and abandoned in this world? How could he have just left Soubi, no less. How could he just smile at the faltering words of Soubi. How did he find such amusement at the scared faces that were all caused by him?

"Why is Soubi so afraid of you? Why do so many people hate you?" Ritsuka realized with those words, that it was all true. As much as he may love his brother, it was all just a cheap trick. Something wasn't right. The love that stared into Ritsuka's eyes was a completely different stare from that of the one he gave everyone else in the room.

"Why? Perhaps they all fear that I will soon murder them all." Ritsuka's face twisted in sadness and confusion. This was not his Seimei. This wasn't the big brother that used to tuck him into bed at night. This wasn't the big brother that would take care of the wounds inflicted by their mother. This was a completely different monster, a psychopath. He would have to be careful of everything he said. The big brother in front of him was gone, and now this monster stood.

Seimei kept on talking. Each word more menacingly powerful than the next. Ritsuka felt like his heart was being dragged from his chest out through his throat. He couldn't speak. He couldn't tell the imposter of his brother to shut up. He couldn't move his eyes from the identical ones stabbing their way through his pupil to his brain.

"Ritsuka, please choose me over everything." Seimei's command shook Ritsuka out of his zombie like daze. Everything was starting to fall to his feet. Every word was becoming like a spell of pins and needles attacking his heart. This wasn't even his Seimei...would he give EVERYTHING up for him? What did he have to lose, really, anyways.

"Ritsuka...Don't answer to him!!!" That was what he had to lose, Soubi. His strong words broke through Ritsuka's haze, making the sickening feeling of despair wash over Ritsuka like a tidal wave. Everything was hanging on a thin wire, and now it was his decision on whether things stood firm, or tumbled to the ground.

_I'm holding on your rope, _

_Got me ten feet off the ground _

_I'm hearin what you say but I just can't make a sound _

_You tell me that you need me _

_Then you go and cut me down, but wait _

_You tell me that you're sorry _

_Didn't think I'd turn around, and say... _

"If you love me Ritsuka, will you give me your whole self? Will you sacrifice your entire being...That is what you do for someone you love, right?" Seimei's words sent a whole new set of shock through Ritsuka. What in the hell was he talking about? Sacrificing his whole self?

"That isn't right...Seimei...that sounds so wrong." Ritsuka couldn't remain quite any longer. His mind was like a roller coaster, everything Seimei said sent him in a different direction, different turn, different flip.

"You won't forgive me for what I've done, Ritsuka?"

_It's too late to apologize, it's too late _

_I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late _

"No..." Ritsuka replied meekly. His voice was low, his eyes closed. He just wanted to get away from Seimei, to clear his mind. This was all too much at one time. Not only was he alive, but he was asking for something Ritsuka couldn't possibly give. He asked for all of Ritsuka. Soubi had not even gone that far. Soubi wanted acceptance...nothing more...if anything he would have even settled for less. So, which one was love?

_I'd take another chance, take a fall _

_Take a shot for you _

_And I need you like a heart needs a beat _

_But it's nothin new _

Ritsuka couldn't deny Seimei completely...he was after all his brother. He was always there when he had needed him in that crucial time after his memories dissipated. But, wait...what if he...

"Seimei...you took my memories...you hurt all those people...you lied to me...you left me..." Ritsuka's eyes started filling with tears. Horror filled him with a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. Everything was piecing itself together. He finally got it all. It was Seimei who had created this whole mess.

_I loved you with a fire red- _

_Now it's turning blue, and you say... _

_"Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you _

_But I'm afraid... _

"Yes. I perfected you Ritsuka. Others don't matter. Only you and I." Seimei sounded like a child with this philosophy..."others don't matter..."

"NO SEIMEI!!! Your wrong! You didn't perfect me...you made me this...this fuck up!!! And others do matter! Soubi matters! Natsuo, Youji, Yuiko, Yayoi, Shinome-sensei...THEY ALL MATTER!" Ritsuka backed away from his brothers now evil stare. He kept back stepping until he felt strong arms wrap around his chest. He was tempted to let the welling tears fall. In those arms he was suddenly relaxed, so relaxed that he nearly didn't care about the tears that wanted to fall. All he cared about at the moment was Soubi. He finally realized...

"Soubi...I love you." The words fell effortlessly out of his mouth. Even though his lips trembled, the feeling was inevitable. No matter how he had denied it previously, it could be denied no longer. In all that was crashing down upon him, it was Seimei himself who had brought this out. It was Seimei's distorted idea of love that made Ritsuka realize which of the two actually loved him, and which was just obsessed.

"Ritsuka...it's too late for that." Seimei was laughing like a hyena...but his laugh was abruptly stopped by another voice.

"Seimei...it's never too late. You seem to have neglected to notice. You are the only one standing in this room lacking a fighter."

_It's too late to apologize, it's too late _

_I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late _

Seimei opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by the sound of Soubi pulling the recently re-wrapped bandage from his throat. The vine wrapped around his throat still there, but the name Beloved nowhere in sight.

**XXxxxXXxxxXX**

"Ritsuka...are you sure your alright?" Soubi's voice was masked in concern for the limp boy in his arms. They had been like that for hours, just sitting on the cold linoleum floor beside the door to the library. They stayed even after the medics came and took the body away on the stretcher. The evil face covered by a blue body bag.

"I'm fine...that wasn't Seimei...Seimei died a long time ago. That was merely a imposter pretending to be my Seimei." Soubi said nothing at the words that heard by anyone else would sound somewhat insane. But Soubi knew what Ritsuka meant. He knew Ritsuka did not wish to remember his brother the way he had seen him that night. Ritsuka only wanted to remember the Seimei that was his loving big brother. To Soubi, that was perfectly fine. He had Ritsuka safe in his arms...and that was all that mattered


End file.
